Thursday, April 12, 2012

(un)Marketable Skills

Hopefully I won't need to reenter the work force any time soon, but I have to admit my mind does wander some days. Every hour I log as a stay-at-home-mom (apparently we're called SAHMs), is one hour I become less attractive to a future employer. I'm beginning to realize just how creative I will need to be as I polish up the ol' resume. I certainly have some hard won skills. Yet they are so disappointingly unmarketable for 99% of the jobs out there.

Or are they?

Combing a straight part and putting two even pig-tails in a squirmy two-year-old.  
Hands-on professional with a successful track record of quality assurance in demanding environments.

Helping a toddler put on a back pack while feeding a baby and walking up stairs.
Demonstrates the ability to juggle wide variety of tasks while meeting the immediate needs of subordinates.

While washing my hair, reciting from memory whatever book child on the other side of the shower curtain is reading.
Communication expert with excellent recall.

Lull baby to sleep while cooking dinner.
Excellent planning and organizational skills that enable the completion of responsibilities in professional and timely manner.

Convincing a toddler it's a good idea to leave behind the 'new' toys and the fish tank at the library and hop into our super exciting, totally awesome van to go home!
Experience in motivating and aligning team mates behind common mission.

Teach eleven preschoolers the letter Y while wearing a baby.
Enjoys sharing knowledge and encouraging the development of team mates.

Carry a baby carrier and walk into the wind in such a way so blanket covering baby carrier stays put, while carrying three bags of groceries and holding a two-year old's hand and distracting her with the song, "There was an old woman, who swallowed a fly..."
Exemplifies strength and focus in adverse working conditions.

Outwitting a sophisticated staler into bed in under 30 minutes.
Fierce negotiator in hostile takeover situations.

Okay, so maybe the last one is a bit of a stretch.


  1. This is a pretty entertaining read

  2. Hilarious. It sounds like you're positioning yourself as a C-level executive. You could teach Wall Street a thing or two.